|its been a long time....
||[Nov. 18th, 2004|11:07 pm]
well, its been a long time, a real long time. |
maybe ill start coming back here more often.
ive realized that journals are just an excuse for complaining and i dont really like the whole complaining aspect of it, but im gonna do it anyways cause i need someone to talk to who wont judge me, so ill talk to myself. oh wait, thats what therapists are for.... eh, ill do it anyways.
if i offend you, you have the total right to just click out of the screen and just forget about me. its what the people i care the most about do best.
i need some prayer right now to help me through some really hard things. not too much has been going right, and im still trying to work everything out. i need as much help as i can get. i dont want anyone to hate me or be mean to me and i just wish i could make a difference in someones life that will mean everything to that person. if that one person could just see how hard i work just to make them happy.... if they could just understand me.... if they could see that no one would ever do what i do for them.... if they could love me for me.... if they could see that im faithful to them.... being forgiving through everything and not holding grudges.... if they could feel my feelings for them.... if they could see that they mean the world to me.... if they knew how much i sacrifice for them... if they knew... if only. there are too many "ifs" and "whys" in my life and not enough "whens".
i know that God's told me that im right for that person and that Hes told him that they are right for me and they need to realize that its God telling them that. when God tells you to do something, you better do it, or else something bad will happen. its always happened in the past, and its gonna happen again.
i just want to be accepted for who i am, its so hard for them to do that. your talents may be great, but i have a few too and if i respect your talents, i expect you to respect mine too. i may not be as good as you are at everything and i may not get everything i want, but im still just as human as you are.
enough complaining now. i dont really wanna offend anyone, its just what im feeling right now, i just need some prayer. thats it.
thanks to all who care.
dee dee nova
little dee dee ramone jr.